2 camels, ‘Humpy’ and ‘Lumpy’, grown tired of walking through scorching desert sands, abandoned that preoccupation and began having dessert instead. Focused animals, camels have always avoided dessert due to its linguistic nearness to the desert. Abstaining was less confusing, so dessert was left off the menu of options detailing a camel’s life. And yet, breakthroughs are always threatening another corner, so, just a matter of time it was before some gainful dromedary twitched his proboscis towards an aromatic slice of crème pie, and then determined to find happiness in the reclaimed knowledge of his sweet tooth. Such were the likes of ‘Humpy’ and ‘Lumpy’, old caravan buddies who’d simply seen one caravan too many and had already forgotten many of the sunset’s swirling dust brigades and the moon’s dry, hazy seduction, hanging low in the night sky like a milk maiden’s breast. ‘Humpy’ sought the comfort of high tea and scones. ‘Lumpy’ took the path of espresso and peanut butter cookies. Both indulged in a blind loyalty to jell-o. And both, while sipping their beverages, would often chuckle about the simple difference that just one letter, in their case, an extra S, can have on a camel’s life.


Art historians (as opposed to the Artificial Art Officials) now conclude that the mystery of the MONA LISA’S enigmatic smile is that she is not wearing any knickers (panties). This was verified by pigmentation analysis.

Naturally, I lost money having invested in a HAND LOTION aimed at athletes called CRÈME ABDUL JABBAR.

To well regarded Zooathalon resident

ELEPHANTS GERALD, (and resident music expert)

The choice seems these days to be either:

QUALIFIED, but not authorized, or

AUTHORISED, but not qualified.

Sully wasn’t too concerned. Nothing good seems to last forever. He had had a good time, and had made a lot of money and new friends. Yet, once the economy tanked, many people started to tighten their budgets and look to do without what luxuries might be sacrificed. And it just so happened that for many of Sully’s clients, a MASTURBATION COACH was an expenditure that they could do without. Sully did take comfort in his belief that he had trained his clients well.

IF THEY HAVE GIVEN SPACE TO RIDICULE YOU, more often than not, you are on to something. 


Full disclosure compels me to acknowledge that played forwards, all Zooathalon produced recordings contain messages that you can hear, especially if you listen to the lyrics. However, if played backwards, you will hear messages designed for the dyslexic. It appears that some of Zooathalon’s music appeals to the dyslexic. We only charge them 00.99 for the service, which thankfully for us, READS TO THEM AS 99.00, where we pocket the difference, while using some of the surplus to secretly help increase cases of dyslexia, since it works quite well for our business model. We also donate monies to a worthwhile charity, ‘the DOWNRIGHT DYSLEXIC SOCIETY DYSLEXIC DOWNRIGHT the’ ; though you need to hold up their brochures and text next to a mirror in order to read and understand it. In our next confession, we will divulge our ALMOST participation in an Illuminati based mind control experiment aimed at certain young suspicious Hollywood types that was code named: SHOOT FIRST AND ASK CHRISTIAN SLATER! I only initially agreed because I was saving up money to purchase a used government weather machine, so that I could play God and cause flooding, famine or drought to those assholes that refused to pay up or play my records. It was either that or a Used Time Machine. But let’s face it, WOULD YOU BUY A USED TIME MACHINE FROM ANYONE IN HOLLYWOOD?

O’BANNON, (he were adopted), though not sure whether or not for certain he had Irish blood, knew at least that he had Irish ‘tendencies’. And he made his peace with that being enough.

In the well kempt parks of the Zooathalon, the pigeons are considerate enough to not leave pigeonholes, unless artists step into them and fall through. Once one has stepped into a pigeonhole, it is known to take a LOT of Public Relations to get out of it, and still, you never know. After all, the greater your public; the higher the cost of maintenance, and Public Relations are ever more costly to maintain.

A Billboard seen in a town square, somewhere in the Zooathalon:

A real player will tell you that whatever level their fear of death is, it isn’t as high as their fear of not getting paid.

Just my dumb luck. There I was, walking late at night in the Zooathalon, looking for an OPEN BAR. I finally found one, but the bar had already been Raised Too High.

The great challenge of our collective childhoods is in having to adopt the prejudices of those around us or be ground into dust (or even risk not being fed). We are bullied or bribed into accepting most prejudices while still too young to defend ourselves or understand much of the world around us. Searching the heart, we find that most of our prejudices are not even really our own, but habits we pick up and continue feeding.

How many ‘RIGHTS’ we have is beside the point when there are so many ‘LAWS’ preventing us from being free. There is less need for rights when one is living in a landscape composed of sensible laws. Then again, come to think of it, ‘rights’ can be given as well as taken away.

In the Zooathalon, we accumulate what credit we do not seek.

It is encouraging to know that even in a bad economy, a fool can always find steady work. The work of a fool is never done.

You will notice that those they do promote, also simultaneously promote the image that our controllers would have us promote, while some of the profits made from their success in promoting a demoralizing image are then used by the shareholders to support LAW and ORDER candidates. In more than a few instances, those most willing to shame themselves (‘represent’) without much thought of it branding a whole congregation, are those that become the richest fools. And I will never be comfortable with ART being used solely for political gain while being regulated out of any signs of life.

In the final analysis, I’ve come to recognize the distraction between RIGHTS vs RIGHTEOUSNESS. I’m not sure I care anymore about my ‘rights’, since in essence, I have what rights I deserve. It does seem now that my concern for my righteousness might take precedence over me chasing the man for rights that he can give as well as take away, and what is real and eternal cannot be negotiable. I am positive that if I pay attention to ‘the what it is that I must do’, things will right themselves according to whatever divine plan may exist for me. In the meanwhile, Gay rights, Women’s rights, Civil rights are but a sleight of hand conjuring trick, debasing the equality of Human Rights, which belong to all without the divisions attached to it. The man has always played games with our rights. I place my faith in righteousness instead. As long as I remain true to the spirit granted me by the Lords of Continuance and the Angels of Mercy, I will prosper regardless of how courts and the judiciary and the politicians feel about my ‘rights’. Even the idea of someone else granting me rights shows how deep the mental chains of slavery as of yet still affect us all (Yes Virginia, there was and still is white slavery as well). I was never given the rights by the record industry to make the music I heard from the ethers and the realms, so I went on my own and took the righteous path instead and did for myself what I might’ve earlier assumed was another person’s responsibility. We have always operated under the assumption that any particular ‘vices’ I judged myself to have, if proven a hindrance to the will of the spirit, to the call of the wild moon’s sparkling gaze; would simply and without fanfare be removed by the spirit, but what didn’t hinder spirit’s will being made manifest throughout the moors, I could keep. My ‘rights’ are debatable at best, and always up for grabs. Righteousness is not. Righteousness is nothing more than doing the right thing when the right thing needs to be done. It is your willingness to live within the world that you believe in, and be among its testimonies. And, as the grand visionary poet VAN MORRISON sang: AND IT STONES ME TO MY SOUL.

Some times the closer we get to the BRASS RING, the more we choke on it. But once you get it in your mouth, just keep chewing; OR, take a ZEN LEAP in your mind, and become the brass ring itself.

My song is your song and my song is so long because your song is too long.

Not to switch subjects so fast but: YOUR LAST GIRLFRIEND was so ugly that her personal physician was a ZOOLOGIST.

We were taught by the wise farmers of the past, that it is useless trying to teach a pig to sing because it only wastes your time and annoys the pig. But I am an eternal optimist and am certain that if somehow I COULD get a pig to sing, I could probably get the pig signed to a recording contract with SONY.

When a man steps to me color, or race first, and not people first, then I know that he is coming to me with some bullshit. I slide away and let them hit the floor on their own.

IT MATTERS LITTLE WHERE YOU ARE NOW, when the harvest whistle blows. If you recognize the call of eternity’s sweet breath, YOU WILL BEGIN MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF THE CALL, wherever the call happened to find you, or at whatever depths, when you heard the whistle blow. Stop tripping on evil. WE ARE SUPERIOR TO ALL THINGS, unless you forfeit this understanding and continue shaking in your boots because you like it.

The greatest thing that a man can achieve is himself. Knowing this, his only obstacles are his own doubts and lack of faith in his promises to his heart. There is little harvest for those who cheat themselves.

TEACHER In Zooathalon Public School System (Royal Studies): “And can any of you students use WINDSOR in a contextual way, as per our last illustration?”

STUDENT: Yes Teacher, How about this? “I know that the Duchess is married, but Windsor husband coming home?”

Needless to report, said student was sent to the principal’s office. This same student was also sent to the principal’s office to meditate on, “I know DAVID, HEBREWS HIS OWN BEER!”

And then there is THE GINGERBREAD MAN, who won the last Zooathalon Halloween contest by coming to the party dressed convincingly, as an Animal Cracker.

We do hope that your Thanksgiving was worthy of the attention you paid to it. There is always something to be grateful for. As well as those remaining shopping days between now and Christmas.

Yes Virginia, I HAVE done the really cool thing of playing Pink Floyd’s DARK SIDE OF THE MOON over the film, the WIZARD OF OZ. It works! It also works if you play PUBLIC ENEMY’S ‘FEAR OF A BLACK PLANET’ over the Disney film, THE LITTLE MERMAID.

I was so ignorant as a kid that I really thought at first that a SERIAL KILLER was someone going around murdering breakfast flakes! And I was totally ready to defend my cereal from this psycho, if it came to that. “I wish a bitch would try to come in and murder my Raisin Bran. What?” Not even Charles Manson would’ve been able to separate a young brother from his CAPTAIN CRUNCH, or his APPLE JACKS.

CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT # 904: MICHAEL JACKSON would NOT be the first man rich enough to have bought his own death, retired to a vast underground world and call his shots from there. If you are wealthy enough, YOU CAN BUY ANYTHING. Even a space on the moon, which like the earth is hollow on the inside, which even ‘official science’ (establishment propaganda) now says it has more than enough evidence of. Then again, he might just be dead like, one way or another, almost all of the brothers who came before him like ICARUS and flew too close to the sun. You can make a ton of money if you are willing to help the man demonize your race or tribe, that he might continue to justify, fear and separation. And, as you have clearly seen for yourself, they work a funny math, in that they seem more willing to give 1 brother a billion dollars, than even to consider giving a quarter of that money to any of the neighborhoods those brothers stem from for the betterment of those living in degradation and despair, and having to swallow the image the system insists that they see of themselves. Maybe Michael and Elvis are together planning a thrilling comeback! (From their underground compound in the bowels of the hollow earth).

If you fear to cross your bridges because a devil is on it, then YOU LOSE. Do not be punked out of not crossing your bridges; they are there to cross. The essence of faith is this: After having placed all of your coins in the jukebox, be patient and wait for your song to begin. And if you are THE ONLY FOOL dancing to it, then dance until the soles drop from the leather of your shoes, then take your socks off, and dance your calluses until they flake, while the rest of your body shakes. Besides, there is no rule that states that a person cannot embody both skepticism and faith. We are skeptics when required to be, though it moves over when faith is the greater substance needed. And if payment is required to cross over and you can pay it, pay it. But do remember that a more than fair poet DID write and sing: “DON’T PAY THE FERRYMAN Until He Gets You To The Other Side!”

If you want to know who your real natural leaders are, just go and visit any local graveyard.

There really are souls dedicated to the destruction of human consciousness. There are those who would make slaves of us all. We are living through a most sullen and stingy time. Africa alone has enough resources to take care of more than just the elite who rape it to keep Africa down, and themselves rich and fully in charge. More money is spent keeping Africans down and in their place, than is spent propping up the rest of the world in need.


THE ZOOATHALON BELIEVES that a ‘society’ begins to become dangerous the moment it becomes far more concerned with your safety than your liberty.

I can recall a time when my ‘career’ had to wear a crash helmet and I was recording for TRAP DOOR records. Luckily that’s all in the rear view mirror of the reflection of the madness that we call life.

..After all, LIBERACE never wore VERSACE, and GUCCI never got along well with PUCCI (though DOLCE & GABBANA are said to like the fabled nights of HAVANA), and they both were taught by the master FIORUCCI, who was himself inspired by both FLORA and THE FAUNA. I can still remember as a boy, dreaming of LOLA FALANA.

We are each born covered in our father’s ambitions and our mother’s disposition.

“I still fear no man or crew on (or ‘in’) This Mortal Coil”, said the snitch. Speaking of which, We feel that ‘Shakespeare’ was not a person as much as he was A GRAND MASONIC LODGE. The master Shakespeare was a team effort. The physical person of the exquisite William was a front man for the establishment. He was well compensated. Please feel more than free to disagree. Also know that ADAM left his lodge after a few months, having grown tired of looking around at the meetings and noticing that he was the first and ONLY member. He also hated that his Masonic superior was his wife EVE. Mind you, the power of the ‘Shake Man’s’ (Mr. Willy Wigglestick’s) work is not diminished simply because it was a team effort. There are team efforts all the time in music and cinema, and most of the results are dire. BTW, Adam managed to get an easy divorce from EVE, since he was able to prove in court that when they married, there was no one else around to give the paperwork to, nor even anyone to marry them. He was quite a good lawyer, our Adam. In the settlement, he got the apple trees; she got to keep the snake.

Is it just my imagination or does it seem like the primary purpose of the American film industry is to promote the British? Fine actors all, but don’t they have their own industry?

It is not only about selling records. Notice that many of the same shareholders who promote gangster rap are the Same Shareholders that give money to elect LAW & ORDER candidates. I know that I’ve already pointed this out. But I never pointed it out with an ampersand (&) attached to it.

VANITY’S PRAYER- Please Lord take my life BEFORE I manage to embarrass myself with future fashion choices! I know for a fact that there ARE Angels who fear death a whole lot less than they fear BAD SHOES and unfortunate hair styles that may come back to haunt them later. Please Lord, take me now!

You’ve got to understand that it got SO ugly and wrong in the music business, that if master PABLO PICASSO himself were a recording artist managed by the industry, he would have had his easel and brushes legislated away from him and given a coloring book and crayons and told NOT to even THINK about coloring outside the lines. We are living through the worst tribulation of corporate music EVER. For whatever it is worth, COME BACK FABIAN, WE FORGIVE YOU!

To those who believe in life, WE ARE ALL RELATED at the level of our concern for our children. I would hate to be a Palestinian whose children are looked upon as spoils of war and treated as collateral. Since when did our children become combatants?

I once had a dream that turned into a nightmare. I was late for the airport and had to get there fast. Turns out that my limo driver was RAY CHARLES. Even worse, once we got to the airplane, the pilots were WILLIE NELSON and my old friend WOODY HARRELSON (and smoking was allowed)!

Sadly, once they’d confiscated the Monkey’s ORGAN, he had no choice but to buy a piano to put his condoms on. Don’t scoff. THIS is what it can come to when your ‘career’ has run into politics. You are reduced to bad puns, silly jokes, and simpleminded word games.

HABITS DIE HARD. As an almost lifelong (since ’72, when Kareem came) fan of this basketball team, whenever Muslims bless me with their universal greeting, (AS-SALAAM-ALAIKUM) by reflex, my tendency is to say: YES, I ALSO LOVE THE LAKERS!

I am not in the habit of knocking SYSTEMS that serve man. I knock systems that presume that man’s only purpose is to serve THEM. God did not stoop to create us, he actually STEPPED UP, and did himself proud. To paraphrase your good friend Jesus, we were not made to serve religion; religion was made to serve us. And let’s face it; our systems are old, creaky, self-serving, stingy, banal and mean.

I’ve no doubt concerning life on other planets in other worlds (spirit gets around). I DO know that any time things get tough and ‘we the people’ start asking the right questions, we get Aliens, Spaceships and Bigfoot thrown at us. Point is, some will use the search for them as but another excuse to ignore us, life on earth. And unless the women on Mars have 3 titties and two vaginas, I could give a shit about them. We laughably de-vow our responsibility to our fellow man in need, but seem eager to contact and assist ‘aliens’. I guess it’s OK as long as the ‘Aliens’ are not Mexicans or Dominicans. And we are already being overrun as it is by demon and vampire culture. WE have proven that advanced technology does NOT in and of itself make us wiser or less patient and confused. Intellect, a wonderful tool, is still not spirit and there have been and are, many an intellectual, extremely smart psychopath who would watch you die just to record the sensations IT was having as you were dying.

My biggest regret of last year was not being able to attend a private audience with the master himself SIR PAUL McCARTNEY. I was both on ‘tour’ and too sick with flu to meet his holiness, who is a God to me and another proof positive why I am far from a perfect Christian, since we are told NOT to have other idols. I expect to be forgiven at judgment for being imperfect. I am glad however that I did not meet him yet, as the rumors of my death might’ve been confirmed by him. He is not the only songwriter rumored to have been dead for a while. Apparently, my career and I have been dead since 1989. I’ve often found it IRONIC to say the least, that the same catalog (the Beatles) which spirit used along with MOTOWN to awaken my pop sensibility, was the SAME catalog that in the hands of my good and honorable rival Master Michael Jackson, was used to Seal My Fate. Simply put, there has to be a cosmic punch line in all of this. Though we suspect that in the long run, master Jackson might’ve actually saved my life and sacrificed his own instead. MICHAEL JACKSON was NOT a saint. Not by any stretch (and neither am I). But he WAS an Angel of Announcement and he DID fulfill his mission. Take it from me, not all Angels can afford to be Saints in these raw, bare-fisted, red knuckle times. I admire real idols, we need them. It is the FALSE IDOLS that I cannot broach or digest. Then again, rumors have been rife in the ‘community’ for years that like grand master Shakespeare, the Beatles were also a front for MASONIC activity. Which, again, doesn’t make those masterful songs any less great and vivifying. And John Lennon was one of the most natural and riveting SOUL SINGERS of all time, one of the most compelling voices ever. And master Paul’s vocal chops were no joke either. Recall, it was the master Lennon who implored us to understand that “NOTHING IS REAL”.

This space reserved for you if interested, to Google THEO ADORNO. Also the thrillingly mysterious TAVISTOCK INSTITUTE. There is often far more to life than meets and caresses the eye.

Some days the ‘ITCH’,

Dominates the monkey.

But oh those days

When the itch,

Becomes the monkey’s bitch!

Including those moments bound

By the tether within their reach,

And the ‘stitch up’ of fisticuffs, with

The other simians of the fountainhead, 

down at the beach.


(Like your hips are curvy. Might more curry 

Have left the pirates with less scurvy, Harvey?

Were the outlaws less than worthy?)

Cutting the cord is easy, like cutting the cake.

Like cutting a film for SCORSESE (don’t botch the final take)

Some things you just can’t make up, the narrative’s too heavy.

Like the wine before the wheat has baked

Enough to sniff and eat. With the solace of pressed olives,

You were invited to The Last Supper but balked at cleaning Judas’ feet.

And you left before the bill arrived, fearing whatever other 

Traitors you might meet, who all taught at the local college.

Profiteroles and losses across the table flicked

With the fingers being licked between bites, 

(Even jaded disciples love food fights!). They eagerly devoured 

The seeds of the beets that sprouted, while among them were several 

Noses that you’d already picked; surviving the burgundy autumn leaves,

That wallow in the swan song’s afterglow of summer’s they’ve already kicked. 

Your hair was slick once before it grayed, and you slept with Ginger’s who never 

Got paid and yet congregated breathlessly around your dick. And

While carrying fractions past their normal point of corroded

Decimals Doubted, while tortured birds whistle symphonies abreast, 

Through their fractured noses, because their owners were being ‘outed’

(Failing blood and other ‘tests’, including penicillin doses).

They chant in code, “the rich need the poor, to fill up their 

Prisons forevermore, so cultivate divisions”. And Mammon is 

The mother behind these decisions, as much as one supposes. 

And I warned you of the coming quest.

Castanets to the alphabet, thorn bugs to the roses. But the sun is 

Rising forever yet, its death would be Surprising, if nature so imposes.

I surmise no less that you must do the best that you can do for those whose 

Souls were left buried in mounds and concrete holes

Paying more to impress and kick around, the salmon swimming 

In the river of life, beneath the tide’s duress, and the stream of 

Consciousness that it gives, in what waters it baptizes. Forgetting 

The winds of strife and the stresses it tempers and materializes. What 

Fractal phases splintered into a mute’s indifferent sigh? 

And why are all of your uncles now wearing dresses with lipstick as an alibi? 

A banker somewhere freezes his balls off in the loping spawn of spring, 

Waiting for Edgar, or Johnnie Winter; for a riff to hum, for a song to sing. 

For a mind to inhabit and enter. FUNNY HAND SIGNS WILL NOT SAVE YOU.

And they will not let you pay back, the money they gave you, for placing your organs in harvest,

For spinning and roasting you over the rack, and peeling you like larvae. 

You arrived in a box, smoked. You leave in a sack, and a swinging rope, 

Your dangling feet never touching the wax. Nor enough time to flush all 

Of your dope, down the slippery slope of descending tracks.

In the Zooathalon, consumers have ‘SELF-EDITING CREDIT CARDS’. These cards not only are aware of your self-imposed credit limit, but are also programmed to tell you when the saleslady was pulling your corset, a bit too tight. Your card is programmed to inform you that it will not be paying for anything that it feels makes your ass look too fat. We underestimated the initial response. They are now heavily in demand.

According to secret intelligence sources, even the mighty and indefatigable MOSSAD is said to fear the continued expansion and growth of the latest terrorist threat to world stability and peace, the PRE-MENSTRUAL ARMY. They are said to be ruthless and quite irrational. The only weapons known to work on subduing them are low calorie desserts.

In an imperfect world, sometimes before BREAD is broken, a few BONES have to be broken first.

A Demi-God met by chance met Demi Moore and was confused as to which side of his family she came from.

TIME is our memory rewinding itself backwards, that we might better digest the wisdom of the journey. Time does not flow in one direction only, but in several directions simultaneously. It is our DEFINITION of time that limits our greater understanding of its Omni-directional nature.

A CAMEL in ZOOATHALON announces his religious conversion, and states that at this time, in honor of his new religion, he would no longer be a ‘humping’ camel, hauling other men’s items across the burning sands. From now on, he would only be ‘schlepping’.

Outside the gates of ZOOATHALON, DISTORTION IS THE LAW! But it is allowed because it keeps taxes high outside the gates and tourist revenue high INSIDE the gates.

A massive shout out of respects to my worthy and esteemed colleague, the grand master PRINCE. Remember this dude created the first VIRTUAL APP, when he used his symbol to identify himself, and he was so far ahead of the curve that the curve broke and wound up suing him for damages. He also since the late 70’s pioneered the use of the language and spelling which is now commonplace on Twitter and other forms of Internet communication. And come to think of it, I was dancing ‘Gangnam’ style waaaaay back in the day.

The Zooathalon understands that the Rich need the Poor, more than the poor need the rich. The rich would not be rich without the poor, while the poor need the rich like a dog needs fleas, and would be far better off without them, generally. It WOULD be hard for ANY unconnected woman to get an abortion, since so much income is derived and profit gained by the numbers of bodies that privately built prisons and their shareholders can prove to the government, in order to get PAID. Building private prisons is the fastest growing construction business in America. Despite your morality, you might just see the conflict of interest, human interest as human capital. The poor always provide a pool of resources to be gained from by the rich, so it is in the best interest of the rich for there to always be ‘the poor’. It has never really been a RACE WAR, which is a ruse to distract and manipulate. It has ALWAYS been about A CLASS WAR; neither is the ‘gender issue’ anything but another stout manipulation of where our true sensibilities lie. Not being myself poor, I cannot but imagine that the main cause of concern pressing upon the poor is the simple but unyielding desire to be less poor than they are. And to have the dignity of work restored whereby they might ‘man up, to stand up’, and pull themselves from their morass, created by a cut throat system which leaves no room for error, and even less room for mercy. And why would the powers that be, allow women the right to choose? That would mean that those women are denying prison builders and their shareholders future profits, as their business model depends on as many assess in cells as they can squeeze in. THEY NEED YOU TO HAVE BABIES, so that you can continue making them rich enough to keep things the way they are. Of course, many of those who swear on the sanctity of life, and disavow a woman’s right to choose, are the same who campaign strenuously against ANY family assistance programs. YOU MUST HAVE YOUR CHILD, JUST DON’T COME to us, if you could use a little help. For me, this is a foreign policy manifestation of ZIONISM. The same types who sit in judgment and berate poor men for leaving their families, while offering nothing constructive to circumvent it. That is a pretty fair definition of: OTHERWISE, we are a Christian nation.

I will have more info regarding where we go next in our RETURN TO ZOOATHALON ‘situation’ Meanwhile it has been a wonderful year of new life and affirmations. In October was my second son born to our family, Federico Elvis Maitreya, on the 25th, of this blessed 2012 (and at 4:20 no less), and I was also granted Italian citizenship after being here in Milano now for over 10 years, and for having been a nice quiet low key immigrant, not stressing the state for any latitude, nor causing the embassy too many embarrassments. It is amazing to bear witness to how a girl becomes a mother and is transformed into an oak.

We also NEED the POOR, so that industry and policy always have a convenient ‘go-to’ scapegoat. Notice that it is WE the People who are blamed for overconsumption and waste, though blame is never assigned to the manufacturers themselves. It is OUR fault that we are too fat, NOT the grocers who have a total monopoly on our food chain. WE are polluting the environment, NOT emission standards, nor policy aimed at granting the corporate powers that be, the full powers of the state to ignore the environment as best suits them. After all, we don’t make the cars offered us as transportation. What they make, we take. If we tried to make it they would kill us with red tape up to our necks. And it is our fault that we are criminals and certainly not the policies, which almost squeezes us into their waiting traps. To add salt to the wound, then are sent by, prophets to teach us that, in effect: EVERY THING IS YOUR FAULT. Ain’t that a bitch?

Perhaps in being so simple it might never work, but; ‘THE FEWER THE LAWS, THE FEWER THE LAWBREAKERS’. The more laws, the more criminals.

Turtles fear that: the DISEASE of MENTAL ILLNESS is far less scary than the CURE.

All in all, it might be said that the simplest and best thing for any of us to do is to claim for ourselves a LIFE, and then to have faith in it. After all, the opera is not really over until YOU say it is over. Even if the music has stopped, it isn’t over until your MIND says it is.

Citizens and Archetypes of the Zooathalon are by nature WARY of ANY philosophy that needs to be explained. There is philosophy vs intuition. If someone else has to explain it to me, I’m probably already in trouble. ZOOATHALON also recognizes the difference between INTELLIGENCE and EDUCATION, the one of which might not necessarily have to do with the other.

Aiming towards happiness and fulfillment are the greatest investments we can make in the world around us. Why wait for heaven?

This from the office of redundancy: Are We Allowed Rhetorical Questions?

Government watchers are surprised that the NRA’s ‘Help Us Capture and Beat an Alien’ promotion and membership drive has exceeded expectations. It is noticed by law enforcement authorities that many participants were unsure as to whether the ‘Aliens’ were the ones from outer space, or the ones from across the border. Over 40% of those polled stated that it didn’t matter.

What we call ‘coincidences’ seems to happen more easily when we say YES to common sense and its unyielding logic. Going against the will of common sense is bound to create stresses in our environments. To nature and its fruits, LOGIC IS WHAT IS. Logic is its own best evidence.

There is no mixture more dangerous and volatile than that of innocence and power. Mix in youth, and it is almost impossible to survive. And there are no ‘sins’ worse than the ones we cannot afford.

It doesn’t always end gracefully, but thank God that at some point, it does all end.

The problem in SELLING YOUR SOUL is that as soon as you begin negotiating, you’ve already started devaluing it. Once, I found out that, at some point, there was a price on my head. Even more disturbing was finding out that the price was cheaper than I’d thought I was worth.

ZOOATHALON’S RESIDENT PHYSICIAN, DR. ACIDOPHILOUS says that a WELFARE STATE is by its nature a passive aggressive police state. Welfare is oppressive; by far the better welfare is work. But that having been said, a welfare state is still the better option between that and the state of rigor mortis.

There is a difference between those religions who make a sacrifice TO their Gods and those who make sacrifices OF them. I tend to prefer the religions of the former, who roast their opinions on a lower flame.

When in doubt, BLAME IT ON RACE, and it works every time! After all, making an earthquake from a weak fault line is as easy as placing stresses on the fault line, and then blowing it up.

AND NOW WATCH AS SANANDA miraculously transforms GRAPES, into SOUR GRAPES! Never before seen on TV!

I did once manage the minor miracle of having turned MILK into SOUR MILK (this trick usually takes a few hours at least, and at room temperature, preferably in summer).

THERE CAN BE NO ‘LIFE’ WITHOUT ‘CHOICE’. Having and making choices is what life is meant to be about. We measure ourselves not against correction, but of what we can bear of our shadow.

One does not have to be against another race or tribe to be FOR one’s own. The human heart is capable of stretching itself. Neither is self-loathing of any real value.

But what is the moral of all this you might ask? What essential meaning might we, the teeming horde, extract from these dolled up and tongue twisted anagrams? It reminds me of a joke I once heard. A lumberjack is being introduced to the camp on his first day of work. At last he is shown a barrel with a hole in the side and told that he may enjoy his privileges with it every day of the working week when aroused, except for THURSDAY. Naturally, as any lumberjack would, the ax swinger inquired as to why he was not allowed to use the barrel on that particular day. The man was told: BECAUSE THURSDAY IS YOUR DAY IN THE BARREL. A word to the wise is often half a word more than required.



I got this really cool ‘official letter’ recently from the MAYOR of MILANO, where I’ve lived now for over a decade, congratulating me on my project, THE SPHINX, which he’d gotten a copy of and wrote to me that he enjoyed it very much and listened to it a lot. It came from out of the blue and I was more than happy to have read the kindnesses he expressed in his letter. I am thinking about writing back to him to see if his good offices would help me to parlay his high regard into my possible avoidance of property taxes while his administration is in power. Or maybe I should just bag the compliment and leave well enough alone.

I am quite proud of all of my main bloodlines, I am blessed to have them to make use of, and be guided by. I am well aware of all of the contributions that my different ‘colored’ ancestors have made, from the Celtic Irish, Spanish/Portuguese, Native American (Cherokee and Navajo), and a few other strains lying dormant until time for it to kick itself out of its grave. But let’s face it, without ‘black culture’; most of the rest of the world would just be sitting around looking at each other and waiting for something to happen. They cannot live without us, though judging by the rate of attrition and deaths of our artists, statesmen and athletes, they cannot seem to live with us either. We were meant to get along, and to SERVE ONE ANOTHER.

Your mother is so old; she was on the waiting list for the first license plate.

Dedicated to our good friends NINO NANA and AMIR MORTAL. Long may they circle the golden domes of ZOOATHALON’S Hall of Fables! And long may their stables produce bounty for their tables.

MILANO 29th November 2012