To all of my Tori’s for their courage and for their ‘tower’ of strength. (‘Torre’=Tower, dig?)

To care too much for what idiots think makes you one. Don’t be caught looking!

You could do a whole lot worse than locate time for the purpose of listening, getting acquainted with the ‘oeuvre’ of Serge RACHMANINOFF, a bad, bad boy and one of the all timers. His compositions rang with invention and his sense of melody, encompassing and delicate, his harmonic leaps daring and innovative. His ‘ear’, his sense of the recognition of nuance and shade, were nothing short of phenomenal and his interpretations of other Master’s always scintillating and revealing. You’d notice how much of a debt that film scoring owes to ‘Rocky’, such was his influence. Right now, my personal fave is the 3rdPiano concerto.

A spaceship is a portable star.

All ‘-isms’ over time stand in need of refreshment. If it doesn’t lead to a more comfortable bowel movement, what is the point of anything?

We are certain if nothing else, that fear isn’t always bad for commerce. I get the slimed feeling every time I go through customs, that they are clear that most of us will march straight to ‘duty free’, and ring the cashiers with our discontent. How very clever and how deeply cynical. The war on terror has been a boon for the duty free industry, just look at their charts. This is also why by and large, I don’t trust republicans. Unfortunately, I don’t trust democrats either. We are not rats, your profits not cheese. Quit fucking with us, and watch perhaps some dignity return to your profit margins, and the pride of place with it.

Dressing well is good for the soul. A well dressed man behaves as a well dressed man.

Were it always easy, it wouldn’t be worthy of champions.

The more of yourself you make available, the less of you there is to give.

Every now and then, a gift will fall on your head from the sky. I was recently in a supermarket, in the middle of Italy, and out of nowhere, the radio starts playing a song I’d not heard since at least 20 years, RAY PARKER JR.’S ‘ Jack And Jill’.
I had forgotten what a great song and production it was/is, and just melted from the unexpected flow of this masterpiece, which should be recorded by any number of artists looking for a great song to win attention with. RAYDIO was a seminal group for me, as was Ray’s work as guitarist. I’d just forgotten. Don’t you, look these songs up and iPod these puppies.

A Buddha laughs as much as he cries, and for pretty much the same reason. Life is as profound as it is absurd, and is a constantly flipping coin.

Detachment is easy during seasons of detachment, not as easy when things are on the boil. Study detachment during its seasons, that it prove handy upon necessity. When detachment is the higher law, it will usually insist upon itself. Otherwise, when appropriate, rage. Often, the greater detachment is not from the emotion being expressed, but of the judgement of the emotion being expressed. The greater detachment is being oneself, as expression calls, without censoring the id for the effort. Lack of patience for the ‘ID’, leads to ‘id-iots’.

There are some wonderful reissues paying closer attention to our Jazz master Dexter Gordon, from the bowels of EMI. I AM RECENTLY RE-CONSUMING 2 OF THE STALWARTS recorded works via CD, ‘Our Man in Paris’ and ‘Gettin’ Around’. These were recorded during his hey day in Paris, when the master Gordon was in exile in the French capitol. We shall always be grateful to the French nation for being willing to absorb our intelligentsia, and embrace and encourage their contribution. ‘Our Man in Paris’ has the splendid piano work of the maestro Bud Powell, while ‘Getting’ Around’ features the sterling tones of the great Bobby Hutcherson on ‘vibes’. Many of these men found abroad, a more rewarding place to live and work, life at home being the same old, same old, even for cultural signatories, which these stellar men were.

Be assured, lasting happiness, contentment has no shortcuts. Shortcuts rob us of the long yield. The time put into ‘happiness’ is work invested in a richer, fuller life. Pain is the release of ours and others ignorance. Taking the long way home has more scenic and emotional value and is less crowded with those looking for shortcuts. We arrive home with better stories, having secured adventures and a wealth of gratitude.

When the confession is delayed, so is the forgiveness.

The Bush presidency brought to you by the ‘BREAD AND CIRCUS’ company.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, I have always been drawn to the skull and crossbones. Scary, forbidden, rebellious, whatever, I am with it. When my wife (and apologist) Francesca and I were in Puglia, we stopped at a church which contains the skulls of over 800 martyrs who fought to advance the cause of their culture, and over the main doorframe of the church is the image of three skull and crossbones, and I remembered why I am predisposed towards it. I had a strong sensation that my wife and I were both buried there as well, after we lost our heads. Now I see that the skull (I have a monk’s skull tattoo), is a symbol of remembrance for me, a way of honouring the sacrifices of the past, as well as to remind, that either way, we lose our minds to something, be careful what you lose it to. We are also a ‘fan’ of the martyrs, who big up for their cause. Besides, the skull and ‘bones’ is totally Rock and Roll, which is not in any way at all incompatible with being a sincere Christian, silent or otherwise.


The ‘aura’ does not belong to the ‘body’, but the body is an extension of the aura. We are a projection of our own ‘space-pods’, not the other way around. We literally emerge as points of light, expanding according to our needs and desires from there. We emerge from our own minds proceeding as boldly as we can see ourselves advancing. As you imagine yourself today, you take shape tomorrow.

POST MILLENNIUM ROCK purports to be a 4th dimensional holographic experience. We are currently looking to finance a computer model which will demonstrate in full this fact. As soon as our grant monies arrive from the BUSH FAMILY FOUNDATION, we will be speeding our research to share this fact and its benefits with those interested parties such as curiosity invites. We will attempt to show that each song and piece of music is a living analogue of space/time, as well as an habitable house structure for 4th and 5thdimensional home dwellers. A few are even capable of reaching Jupiter!

I prefer being liked to loved. People kill for love and kill people they love all of the time, but think about it, when was the last time someone killed someone they ‘liked’? I need, at this juncture in life, very little of any love that isn’t my own. A good woman and some good songs are all a troubadour needs. Besides that, how much more love do I need, and am I willing to pay the rather steep costs of its maintenance?

We are all pathological. We are either pathological liars, or worse (and as is my case) pathologically honest. Which may turn out in fact to be the more terrible crime, we’ll see. I am not sure that my pathology is better than yours.

For a man to grow up, he must be willing to fight for it.

We love more when we have more love to give. Love cannot be commanded like a lap dog, or it will assume its precedence and bite.

Clearly Michael Phelps is a MERMAN. They exist and sometimes take human lives. They do not manifest anymore in our oceans as once they did before we developed a taste for their tailfins. Now when they deign to manifest on this planet, they do so as land dwellers like the rest of us, yet retain their Merman/mermaid natures and gifts. Even the fish in the lake swim faster when the young master Phelps is in the water.

I can remember when my luck grew so cold, I couldn’t get a mermaid wet….

I recently saw an article where it spoke of men and their shopping habits. Notice to the hip, Men, do not ‘shop’, women ‘shop’, Men BUY THINGS and there is a difference. We prefer not even to have to turn the car off, if we can quickly just pop in and GET what we came to BUY, all the better. ‘Shopping’, women will agree, is a whole other thing altogether.

Francesca, asked me if I were aware that there were certain fish which could become male or female at will. They could be male one moment, next season female. I said yes. She asked, “What do you call that?” I said, ‘Good Karma’.

Fame is a 12 step program and by far the hardest of all addictions to break. What we are willing to do for fame reaches beyond the unmentionable. Most die trying to shake it from their systems or hanging on to what memories remain.

The body is not allergic to anything. The emotions are. All food allergies have their roots in unresolved emotional associations attached by traumatised memory to the food in question. A man by natural rights should be able to eat or drink anything (within his own reason) that he likes. Issues of ‘deserving’ also enter food issues. When we hold it against ourselves that God has blessed us with plenty, we hold on to less digestion (for we are loathe to digest what we do not feel we deserve) and as a consequence, more fat. And as a consequence, more judgement and its offspring, depression.

Stay awake in the dream and do not falter, OZ’s program shifts and changes the closer you get to it. Remember, the baker always leaves footprints, just as the butcher always leaves a trail of blood .


This is service I owe to God and nature. You can do as many things as brings fresh interest in your life and its quality, even if you suck at all of them, as long as it brings movement to your heart, joy to your mind, a respite from the usual hauntings, have at it, and with gusto. I have learned this: One cannot lead AND look back. Of course, you can DO both, it’s that you cannot HAVE both.

Batman was smart, he’d put a bit of kryptonite in his shoes, so that when he kicked Superman in the balls, the man of steel would feel like the man of rubber, and his knees would do the Charleston. Truth be told, the Superhero’s bar was usually divided between two camps, their two camps, though Batman’s entourage was smaller as he didn’t really go for all of that crowd scenario. They hated each other since SUPERHERO ACADEMY, where all young novice’s with special otherworldly powers are sent, if they are to be licensed. Then the young Superman stole his agent, and the blood has been bad since. Superman also fell out with Captain America for taking Batman’s side in a dispute. The question was the old sawhorse about how many angels it took to dance on the head of a pin, which Superman actually gave an answer to, while Batman insisted it was an entirely rhetorical exercise, so Captain America was asked to intervene, and to secure a peace, he replied (as a compromise); 12. Which incensed the Man of Steel, who had firmly claimed 4608, and thought that Captain America was mocking him by being off by roughly 4506, and what the hell was that about? The final breach came when Batman accused Superman of being a steroid user, and that his flying, his point of greatest pride, was chemically assisted . Batman didn’t care that Superman did all that he could to ostracise him with the Superhero gang. Spiderman also was known to be diffident towards Superman, thought that he was a lucky, well promoted one trick pony, who suspiciously never had sex. Batman was Spiderman’s hero, mentor, though he too was far too booked with crimes and humanitarian gestures to spend much time worrying about these things. Batman was mocked by the ‘Superman crew’ for his visionary ‘ Villain Sharing Program’.

The pious are largely bored with themselves, and essentially want to bore you too.

Sociopaths are as angry as for any other reason, not being given social skills by which to navigate the world. They then turn against what these skills serve.

The universe is not stingy and she respects what you say your needs are. Your needs are never measured against another’s, unless you insist.

Population control is always a sensible idea, as long as it doesn’t include us in the equation.

When we swallow our pride, we create our coughs. Later, pollution and the like, smoking, will be blamed, or whatever else looks good on the medical chart. When we swallow more of our fire than we breathe out to the vital air, the inner burn over time is what causes lung diseases and related ailments. All of our dis-ease, begins as emotional blocks in the intellectual headspace called the ‘mind’. Our diseases are programmed just as our minds are. Truth to fact, the fewer people that knew about cancer, the fewer people would get it.

Never let the size of the man intimidate you in a fight. No man , how big or tall, how ‘strapped’, has muscles in his balls. The more muscles on the man, the more he is hiding.

Generally, the paranoid are more interesting.

What begins to bore us in time is less our lives, than the ‘story’ of our lives. You and life, are author and pen, and at your will and behest, the narrative can always be changed. As long as your own story remains of interest to you, so too will be your life.

Give me a break, we can send men to the moon, women to Mars (though I’ve heard that the shopping is better on Venus), but we cannot invent a toilet paper roll that gets bigger as you use it? What a waste of scientific ingenuity.

Being ashamed of our needs is a sure path to depression and weakens as well the immune system. Our needs do not make us weak, but wise. Glorify your needs!

It cannot be found in the form, but in the measure.

We are grateful to you for your curiosity and interest. May your spirit bless and keep you!

When Communism is formed by Rich white moguls, it is never called Communism, it is only called that for the people practicing it with no money. Whether it works or not, most of the American professional sporting leagues bear a striking resemblance to the ethos of Marx/Lenin (before he started writing songs with McCartney).

…and so, bored, Jonathon decided to rent out his mind between 3 and 5 o’clock each afternoon, to an ‘entity’ called ‘ZUKI-TET’, who claims to be a representative ‘collective mind form’ for the ZEBINIUM FROK tribe. They are from the ZEBINIUM TOR galaxy. Within weeks, Jonathon was booked solid with appointments and was eventually able to buy a house, in lovely San Diego California, and another in the Colorado Rockies. Now, there are people all over town, trying to make contact with prophetic entities, ready to rent out some mind space for a few spare hours and ring in that coin, that ‘moocho-mala’. As for ZUKI-TET, it took the mind of Jonathon as his 3rd dimensional Earth filter (can also be accurately described as his 3rd dimensional filter) to realize that his truest calling was Entertainment. Already, on the planet he hails from, he is called the ‘Chartreuse Milton Berle’.


Argue this amongst yourselves (and don’t call me collect to settle it), FRENCH SYMBOLIST MASTERS (and trio of confederate literary gangsters) , Rimbaud, Apollinaire, Verlaine. Fast forward to another time another place, new techniques, same spirit. Dylan as Rimbaud, Smokey as Apollinaire, the Morrison, Jim as Verlaine. There are striking similarities, or maybe it’s just me. We do know that spirit ‘recycles’ it’s Angels, especially the rough ones.

If you can control definitions, you control behaviour, you control the mind, you control the world. But are any definitions sure? If our very creator cannot be fully defined, his creations cannot either. Make ‘definitions’ work for you, or you will always be working for definitions.

One can only name lightning, it cannot be defined. To quote the great enduring maestro LAO TZU, ‘THE TAO WHICH CAN BE DEFINED IS NOT THE ETERNAL TAO’. You dig?

For those of you who cannot make ‘payment’, I am also willing to consider barter and trade. Nintendo Wii and Xbox games are acceptable forms of payment. As is really good and original porn.

Finally- STOP BEING ANGRY AT THINGS. Be angry WITH them instead. Then you have company!

It can now be told that DOWN’S SYNDROME people are not diseased, they are an ancient Angel tribe. They are emotional masters, geniuses of restraint and have no filter through which to ‘game’ and lie the way we are comfortable doing. Truth is in their nature’s. Chromosomally, it is as if they are a half step beyond us DNA wise. They are like unto children of Heaven who are the real Peter Pans, they are forbidden to ‘grow up’ as we know it, though like the ‘cherubs’ from whom they descend, they are as wise and knowing as the moment requires. I have witnessed them do brave, selfless and amazing things, and we are grateful that like the Angels, they are assigned to every ‘sub-race’ on this planet. All, in each their own way, are teachers of great emotional power and teach as well the subtle yet important difference between sentiment and grace. I was fortunate to grow up with one I went to church with, a young man roughly my age named DEXTER. I was always moved by the depth of compassion he could effortlessly show for what moved him. More moving was the ‘shepherd’ like nature he exuded and the way that although we would have in those pre-politically correct days considered him a ‘retard’, he was always being caught in the act of encouraging the best efforts of another soul. I now see him as God’s placement in my life during a critical time. He was one of my best teachers, though at the time, he was just the Down’s kid that I sometimes was ignorant enough to feel sorry for. Angels admire the DOWN’S SYNDROME matrix as a lot of our crap and judgements have already been filtered out, making it easier for them to be the workers they were meant to be. They are emotional healers. In time, I believe that I inherited some of the faith in myself, that my friend DEXTER showed in me. If not mistaken, he still resides in the central Florida area, we hope peacefully and enjoying his Lord’s fruits.

Angels also often serve as the family dog. It is a good and neutral post from which to keep an eye on God’s children. Dogs love God a great deal, even took his name and spinned it around, just so that we would be in on the joke as well. Spirits that have been dogs also like the Down’s matrix as it is very close to their own nature’s and easier to transition into human lives with.

Spending too much time trying to understand evil brings you to its level. We are not obliged to ‘understand’ evil. Sometimes, it is better to just shoot it.

The point is, you can go crazy trying to understand crazy. The better understanding is just to leave crazy alone. To understand evil IS evil.

… SEE it is another matter, but to know it is to be it.

The town where I grew up and knew Dexter was so poor, that they couldn’t afford to hang me in effigy, so they are just waiting for me to come back so that they don’t have to spend money on the materials.

Just scratch all of that and have the future debates sponsored by Xbox live! I want to see J-Mac and Sarah challenge Barack and Biden to MADDEN NFL the Cardinals and the Bears ! This is what we want to see, and more prescient, how would Sarah handle a weak side blitz? What is Biden’s play calling like? Could the gifted young Senator from Illinois QB HIS TEAM TO VICTORY? Would J-Mac’s strategy be more defensive or offence minded? Bring on the games bitches!

Then after the hockey challenge and NBA live, we should have a clearer idea who is fit to run our nation.

I ran into my friend, the wonderful musician/composer CESERE PICCO, while running this morning, after having almost gassed myself to death doing sprints. It was a surprise to see him, and it is good to see that I still am willing to stop for piano players!

But why are you crying? You know that you are the melted edges of my cheese.
(and falling all over my bread with your pungent grip).

To future generations it will seem silly and ‘counter-evolutionary’ that once upon a time, artists were denied areas of musical expression based almost entirely ON RACE. It will be a topic surrounded by an ‘HUH’?

My main problem with sports now, besides how the overwhelming greed has corrupted almost all aspects of it, is that no ‘real’ teams in sports can now match the breathtaking dominance that my teams achieve on my Xbox 360. I now watch my beloved JUVENTUS with a malaise unbeknownst to me previously. I now yawn to see the lack of pain applied to fools in ‘televised’ sports, whereas, in the land of 360, fools hurt because they must, because pain IS THE LANGUAGE of MY Xbox sports world, and we disdain the timid and weak in 4th quarters, in rough waters. How can I explain to the MIAMI DOLPHINS that they are just not playing with the purpose and intensity of my MADDEN games? How can I explain to the LA LAKERS that even when I rest KOBE, we blow teams out by at least 20 points still? How do I explain to Major League BASEBALL that their Xbox catalogue is woefully under represented and risk losing what connection I still retain to their sport? Why does Hockey have to be harder on Xbox than in real life? I WANT MORE THAN THE ‘COURSE OF THE YEAR’ ON TIGER WOODS GOLF. Give me a library of courses as does the tennis court selections on TOP SPIN 3. What are you all, a bunch of choice hating nazi’s? Professional sports, stop with the games and just bring on the ‘bionic’ athletes. They should all be juiced, they should all be medicated so that more and more, they can bring the pain, the pain, and nothing but the pure pain.

It is not whether for many of our Diaspora, OJ SIMPSON is guilty. It is that guilty or not, he represents for us the wounded psyche that we all carry, to whatever degree we are blessed to be able to hide it. Within even the mind of Senator Obama, is OJ trying desperately to keep his head and not betray how stressful living amongst our enemies are. Given far too much credit for the lean side of the coin and banned from rubbing the fat side. Credit removed from our pelt when we pioneer, piled upon us (and with steam) when we are caught with our pants down. Always being faced and encumbered with the latest ‘theories’ separating us from our humanity, voiding our dignity. Having to accept being the first suspected and the last forgiven. Our system is like this, having fed and verified all of OJ’s appetites when he was scoring touchdowns and building the mansions that the owners would then pass on to their children, then seeking to deprive him of it and even embarrass him for having them after the monster that they themselves created grew along with those same appetites which made richer men of them all.
Once OJ were no longer of usefulness to the system, his WHITE WOMEN RIGHTS were revoked, and he would revert to the land of broken black American men, dazed, confused, naturally angry, most of all lonely. We at times disgust me.
We who create our very demons, then beat and lecture them for being that, our own collaboration between our desires and our fears. There is not a viable, thinking ‘black man’ that I know who doesn’t accept that at any moment, a ‘frame’ can be placed around his portrait as the next whipping boy. We are aware that it is not we who are innocent until proven guilty, we were already conveniently framed as guilty before we ever left the womb, and then beaten by the law for reaching beyond our ‘pre-ordained’ profiles. ‘PREDETERMINATION’ IS RACIST BULLSHIT PASSING ITSELF OFF AS RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE. What seems predetermined, is evil’s determination to deny us the fruits of our very humanity .

One is encouraged to see little boy’s eyes light up in the games store upon laying their pupils on a plastic guitar. The only difference between then, in my day as a boy and now is that their plastic guitars are attached to better technology. Many of these same kids will go on to form real rock bands. We use what time we have until to ensure their willingness to be a part of nature’s spirit army, to be bouncing poets of ennui and the viral outbreaks of what joys we find while drilling for oil on this mortal coil.

Masochists seek permission, SADISTS JUST DO (and as ‘professional musicians’ we are one or the other)!

ALL THAT CATCHES THE EAR IS POETRY (however dumb or grand).

WE NEED MORE ‘DECERTIFIED’ POETS! Stop waiting for ‘rules’ and just write, the ‘writing Gods’ will send you what you need. The academics are not the only ones who determine what is poetry and who it’s authors are. Stuck for a word? Make up your own, the language of man evolves at the speed of light!

Remember young musicians that if someone complains about your instrument, you can always drown out their opinion by turning up the volume. The power of music is not just in its ability to heal and uplift, but more deliciously, its power to annoy the hell out of others.

You are supposed to feel contrite when told that you have difficulty taking direction. Act slightly disappointed, then leave the principal’s office rejoicing that you are an individual, not a clone. All you need to know are your own impulses, the rest magnetizes to itself what it requires as time rolls through. Those who change the world (contrary to ‘image’) are never great listeners. A musician comes to know in time the valuable difference between HEARING something, and LISTENING to it. We hear all, we listen to almost nothing.

Learn to accept isolation as one of a musician’s dearest, closest friends.

Fish invent things, but they don’t make them up!

The saddest little fish you ever did see was the fish who worked for most of his youth to invent DEODORANT, only to see the credit given to a team of French scientists. It stung him bad that people were not ‘willing to accept’ a fish’s claim of having created something that anyone could see made perfect sense to fish and their species, namely, what to do about that god awful smell. The brilliance of the little fish’s idea was that after one had caught or bought fish, you could before storing it in the fridge, spray it with Fish Deo, and voilà, Fresh fish with no dead fish smell ! He even thought it out well enough to do a fresh water version also. But alas, the world being the flattened spinning disk that it is, he remained underwater being feted by his friends, though naturally a few remained sceptical of his claim.

Vladimir was a strange name for a fish, admittedly though that were the least of it. Stranger still was that he was the variety of fish that could only stand water for very short periods of time. It wasn’t that he didn’t love water, it was that he was allergic to it, so could only absorb it slowly and only occasionally. This is why he loved when it rained and afterwards he would go and stand as close to the curb as possible so that when the cars raced past, he’d get splashed with water and be in instant heaven! So palpable was his joy that he would lose all track of time and space and be embraced by his remedy! It didn’t rain his way very often, and private ‘pet’ fish were known to be wary about sharing their ‘pools’ with strange allergic, free lance fish, they may have diseases or worse, ‘wild attitudes’. Therefore when splashing season was in, he could always be found near a curb. Alas, even strange land bound fish can experience a stroke of misfortune and during a wild fish dance while being splashed, Vladimir slipped and twisting a fin, fell into the gutter. The kind citizens placed a small commemorative near the curb where he would dance, though now there are always a few cats around, on the lookout for a wiggling morsel of a good meal.

Reporter: “And what kind of fish are you sir?” 
Fish: I am a ‘Dry Fish’. 
Reporter: And your occupation? 
Fish: An Actor! 
Reporter: You mean to tell me that you act? 
Fish: Yes, when I’m not waiting tables. 
Reporter: Your name? 
Fish: (giggling) ‘Richard’ 
Reporter: Richard Dry Fish? Ok, I see where this is going, cut the camera off! 
“You trying to make fun of me dude, you think this is funny? I am a professional, and I do not need this, you displaced piece of sushi!”
Fish: Ouch! Did you have to go and get racial?

Vladimir is also well remembered at his favourite car wash, where he would go once a month, for a wash and rinse, enjoying every single second while he sat in his Mustang convertible getting his scales all nice and tingly. He especially loved blowing the bubbles that came with the experience!

…and believing that the vast population outbreak of the sardines would devalue property values, especially around the coral reefs, the first fish took it upon themselves to exodus and begin mapping out the land for fresh lakes and ponds, new suburban vistas. Damn if those sardines weren’t taking over the whole damn ocean, now even the plankton are demanding their full rights. Sardines don’t do too well in fresh water and don’t really like the land too good. And they are always up on you!

The truth is this, if what I am saying sounds like complete BS to you, then you are also on the right track! The master Lennon wrote: ‘HALF OF WHAT I SAY IS MEANINGLESS, BUT I SAY IT JUST TO REACH YOU’- ‘JULIA’

Ronaldo was sure that once he improved his vertical, he would be able to break the NBA’s prejudice against fish joining the league. He just had to master his finger roll. He was encouraged to know that his cousin ‘Delmer’, a gifted athlete had once made it all the way to the Miami Dolphins practice squad, as a holder for the placekicker. It helped that Delmer had connections, it were in fact his own grandfather who was the fish posing as a dolphin on the teams helmet and who worked a lot in his day as a FISH MODEL.

Then there was the tragic oft told story of the fish who let it go to his head that he was said to resemble Mick Jagger, and so, dropped out of school to pursue his dream as a Rock star. Naturally, without a canteen, he soon perished roughly 3 minutes after he pulled up on dry land and was eaten by 3 crabs and a seagull.

It’s not that rehab doesn’t accept fish, it’s that the fish are really afraid of ‘drying out’.

It’s not that fish disapprove of smoking. It’s that they are aware that ‘smoked fish’ fetches a higher price and renders them more vulnerable.

… young carp are all told the example of the Salmon tribe, they started smoking and now look at them, THEY HAVE TO SWIM UPSTREAM JUST TO ESCAPE THEIR CREDITORS!

Then there is the ‘Cautionary’ fish tribe, though they don’t have ‘tails’ ‘cause that would be too obvious……

A bunch of Sardines walk into a bar, all bunched together as they tend to. The bartender asks what will they have to drink and one says, nothing, we’re just here for the olive oil.

A bunch of sardines, all packed tightly together, pull up in a Volkswagen next to a street light. Up next to them pulled up a police car. An officer, suspicious of all of these suspicious looking (and smelly) guys in ‘hoodies’, asked to see a driver’s license. The driver says “ Sorry officer, I must have left it in the can”.

But what would be even cooler is if the ‘Stalin’ impersonator written of recently in the IHT, who never takes off his Stalin impersonation even on days off, is the real actual Stalin, preserved by secrets shared between the Anglo alliance and the old ‘empires’. Kept alive by ‘alien’ technology given to the Nazi’s by an ancient race of Martians, he makes spare change playing a man playing himself! What a brilliant, wicked idea. This is why I kind of admire evil sometimes, it occasionally comes up with really cool and surreal ideas. Sometimes I suspect that Elvis got hooked up with one of those ‘government disappearing plans’, and faked his death to get away from all of our tired bullshit. He has the perfect cover, if you see him, naturally you are insane! The other explanation, is as he was an Angel, like all Angels, he has the power to manifest at will, when he chooses. Angels have a tendency to die ‘mysterious’ deaths, it is one of their calling cards.

And then there was Sal, a morbidly depressed house fish that would have the rotten luck to be the only fish in a small bowled environment where the house cat was a vegetarian (Sal was a Libra, though most of his relatives growing up were Pisces).

STEVE MARTIN’S ‘The Jerk’ would be prescient viewing right about now. We do not freak out about financial crises’, we came from nothing, so we know how to live with nothing as well as anyone.

When your past is greater than your future to others around you, urgently get rid of those people! They have a vested interest in keeping you looking behind you. Even a blind man is obliged to look ahead if he is to avoid walking into his own demise. Even a golden gilded coffin will leave you cold and take your breath away. One simply cannot make the mathematics work whereby one looks behind them, while expecting a new future to arrive, and you are allowed a future whether or not it pisses off the whole of the world. A man , of any colour or stripe must work to be free. Being haunted by your past ensures that you won’t return to it any time soon……

How fortunate was it that the KLUHN family were a group of circus performers? And to be blessed with so obviously helpful a moniker as theirs was, facilitating easier promotional efforts as the CIRCUS KLUHNS! Rumours dog all families and they had to endure the speculation that ‘Pa’ Kluhn was maybe not a man after all, but a cross dresser. Truth is often much stranger than crucifixion, and frankly, Pa was not a cross dresser, but simply a very bad dresser and a rather altogether different looking kind of fellow, though his vaunted ‘sword swallowing’ technique did nothing at all to dispel the rumours, ‘those’ rumours.

…And though the infamous joke usually ends with: PETER, PETER, I CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE (the old crucifixion sawhorse), other tellings have a different ending. A Lebanese one goes like this: PETER, PETER !
Peter: “Yes, my Lord?” Jesus: “You were my least favourite and a real pain in my ass, AND you were always TERRIBLE with the women, so look after my mother for me” A Syrian one ends, PETER, Touch my foot! Now you’ve got the ‘cooties’, pass it on!” A typically Saudi Arabian one ends: PETER, TELL JUDAS THAT THIS AIN’T OVER! A CYNICAL Turkish one says his last words to Peter were, AND I GAVE UP SMOKING FOR THIS? Another version says that his last words were to his mother, something to the effect ‘MA DID YOU BRING ME A SWEATER, I’M GETTING A LITTLE COLD’. (And no, I’ve no problem laughing at the lighter side of our Lord’s suffering, just as I have had to learn to laugh at times with my own).

… and once the Sardines had left the bar, hungry, they found a diner. There were nothing to eat. Then, inspired, one of the fish positioned himself atop the fryer and proclaimed to the others, “ But wait, WE ARE THE FISH THAT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!” And with that he, followed eagerly by the rest of his comrades, jumped into the fryer to be made ready to eat. That it may not have been the most thought out of ideas didn’t really occur to them until it were way too late…..

Thinking himself clever, fast Eddie the fish had a plan, he would get his friend Nancy the turtle to smuggle him past customs while hiding in her shell. It worked. So did the cop’s surveillance strategy and now fast Eddie is in the federal maximum security aquarium for distributing seaweed and possession of coral reefers…..

…. And it further goes to show that Angelfish may look innocent, but can be some wicked little operators if you’re not careful.


2 LOBSTERS ARE SITTING IN A POT. The first lobster says to the other, ‘GET OUT’. The second lobster says, NO, YOU GET OUT. I WAS HERE FIRST. The first lobster then says “Were that true, you wouldn’t have been designated the ‘second lobster’ in this story”. The second lobster then turns to me, the author, and screams “YOU BITCH, YOU SET ME UP!” Both of those lobsters are gone now, silent and at this point covered in the memory of a nice hollandaise sauce, and punctuated with a chilled bottle of muscatel.

Taking a cue from his cousin Jonah’s experience, ‘Chonah’ decided that money could definitely be made in the whale teeth cleaning business. He also, with foresight determined that his teeth cleaners had better be adept at whale colon cleansing as well, just in case…..

Eudora was certain that her scale removal surgery was a stunning success. She looked thinner and shimmered. But to the other fish in the pond, she looked sick and like she was trying to be a Japanese pond fish or something. And who was she fooling, she was still never going to be a young fish anymore, regardless. She was snubbed and last seen floating belly up in a suburban pond in a ‘cul de sac’, a stranger to her new environment. She was mistaken for a carp and an eel tried to mate with her, sending them both into shock, which he was designed by nature to survive.

I have no hard feelings that master Rupert Murdoch turned down my idea of financing an all fish channel. THE FISH CHANNEL, ALL FISH ALL THE TIME! He thought that the half a billion budget that I was asking for to make the most impact may have been too steep, and just failed to see my vision of a line-up recreating all of the classic sitcoms featuring fish. ALL IN THE FAMILY- the fish version. SANFORD AND SON, the fish version. I LOVE LUCY- The fish edition! Recasting the Sopranos with an all devil fish cast. But wait! also fishing forecasts for fisherman! 5 minutes after each program with just the ‘Aquarium’, so peaceful and relaxing! Fish are funny but sir Rupert didn’t seem to get this. How could you not see GILLIGANS ISLAND with 6 different choice fish and a turtle as SKIPPER? He even blanched at my idea for the all DEAD FISH HOUR, even when I dangled in front of him the possibility of letting his lovely wife Wendy be the only non fish host of the NEWS REPORT-A FISH EYE VIEW How could he not see the humour in 3 dead fish laying on a formica kitchen counter and having a conversation, voiced by WOODY ALLEN, EDDIE MURPHY and ROSEANNE BARR? How could you not find the comedy in re-shooting a video of 4 of those singing bass fish singing U2’S ‘LEMON’? I certainly hope I didn’t waste his time…. And managed to avoid asking for the funding to realize my lifelong dream, an all squid remake of ‘A HARD DAY’S NIGHT’. “DON’T SPEAK TO HIM OF ‘CALIMARI’, THEY LOOM LARGE IN HIS LEGEND !”. It is the underwater filming that would be the logistical nightmare.

I like the new OASIS recording.

…these ‘channelings’ dedicated to DAVID FOSTER WALLACE, now released of the ‘building block’ work he came here to do. Linguistics alone can repopulate future worlds and add sustenance to this present configuration. We mustn’t forget that our entire universe was created from God’s fascination with the possibility of linguistics and it’s ability to program worlds. We salute the master Wallace’s service. We applaud his graduation. ‘Illumination’ like he worked with and from is never an easy burden.



Sometimes it takes time to appreciate where one’s ‘teacher’s’ show up. It is also ironic that my guitar teachers never taught me any fingerings, chords or licks, but taught me most by their attitude. I always pestered LOUIS METOYER to show me things, especially since he had to learn all of my licks, ideas for the ‘live shows’, but he would always reply that I paid him to know my stuff so it was different (cheeky bastard). STEVIE SALAS also was very guarded about sharing things with me during the ‘Duran Duran’ period of brief promotion. Guys are usually reluctant to feed another monster, so we understand more than did we then. Yet, one’s teacher’s, if they deem you worthy, can still ‘transmit’ to you some of their ‘mojo’. Though these two gents are brilliant musicians, what they are even more are GUITAR PLAYERS. I never failed to notice the sheer joy these men took in being in possession of their instruments. It were the master DAVE JUDY who were most generous about trading guitar ideas, theories, and I am also grateful to him.

Life has little to do with our concepts of age, and everything to do with level of will.

The most important thing a musician needs is not technique, though it doesn’t hurt, but curiosity.

My new rock stars are not us musicians, we dropped the ball, we suck, but game designers. It is they presenting new challenges, respecting the intelligence of the young, and breeding tomorrow’s rock stars, while the music business is busy breeding more accountants. They are heroes to me. I am digging the new STAR WARS game on Xbox, but then again I would, I am on Luke Skywalker’s team and this STAR WARS saga, presents more ‘truth’ than you may remember….Wherever we are, DARTH VADER is there, trying to stop the viral spread of consciousness. FIFA may have the ‘franchise’ but PRO EVOLUTION SPORTS Soccer is the BOMB! FORZE JUVE!

Who wills to be more is guaranteed!

Before wishing to become a ‘rock star’, I dreamt to be my childhood hero (besides the Beatles and Ali), Jacques Cousteau, the genius oceanographer. These writings and fish tales dedicated as much to him as to you.

All limitations are notable strengths. Our true branches grow from them.

From a ‘gamer’s’ perspective, I am still waiting for Nintendo Wii ‘Ho (vibrator and balancing board optional).

The latest announced release on Porkpie records, by their acclaimed band THE YORKSHIRE DEMERIT, is being postponed until later in the release schedule. According to industry insiders, the bands efforts, while brilliant, were said to be lacking in ‘identifiable’ ring tones.


In my next life, I want to come back as a game designer, and blow minds.
These are the men and women helping to reprogram our minds. In future I expect to see more therapy developed through games. Women will be allowed to, when ready at a certain stage of their healing to, through games (such as Grand Theft Auto’s model), re-approach their rapists and confront them emotionally from a more protected space (and in future, law enforcement ought to make available to the victim, the rapist at the appropriate time in their healing process, accompanied by law enforcement and therapists). It can help children, even before sending them off to school, get a head start on navigating new worlds. In future, we will even be able to store our family and life memories inside game consoles, leaving, like an old family bible, a record of who we were and some of the fun we had.
The military would also do well to invest more of its budget into the co-developing, with the games industry, tools to help soldiers prepare better for war, as well as peace. To learn while playing increases the art of both and increases memory.

Professional therapists might also get more actively involved in the development of games for not only healing purposes, but also as entertaining preventative medicine. With the proper games, we can help to reprogram healthy minds, confident and rich in the lipid fats of curiosity, Heaven’s gift to the mind.

It is in fact a blessing to witness that there is so much work yet to be done, and the children of a living, active God deserve no less than all that can spread the gospel of IMAGINATION, and it’s power to shift our lives. BE HEALED YOU WHO LAY YOUR EYES UPON THIS!

One’s past life memory also stretches to remember the debts owed to the influence of the great guitarist, of English hue (as well as cry), PETE GLENISTER, another who would show me nothing but from whom I must have absorbed somewhat in spirit. ‘BLAST’ MURRAY from New York was another ‘early’ guitar hero for me, who did encourage me in the past life days to take myself more seriously as a player. It were he who played the guitar (the main one) on ‘DANCE LITTLE SISTER’. Even in rehearsals he would sweat as hard as in concert and his energy was contagious He was a STRAT man. At one point, if not mistaken, he and Glenister were in my band at the same time, both great, and unique players from whom I absorbed a lot. Both ‘teachers’.

It wise for us musicians to remember that in live performance, each song improves with a smile! I was taught by my high school teacher DAVID MARTIN, to articulate each word clearly, despite the emotion present (which I still sometimes fudge), and to smile, which lifts both the vocal tone and the spirit.

Every snowflake is different, but with our eyes closed, we would not know this.
Be yourself, or perish.

My definition of a ‘Nihilist’ is someone who believes in nothing, but still wants to have it all.



Pixilated bluescreen, the mind-field retorts: 
(and rip your balls out for sport, 
Though I never listened to her 
While farting through my shorts) 
Gentle lays a heavy head upon the ruins 
Of its ravaged dream, doves were shot at 
Point blank range, though pigeons fell into the cream 
Ankles have I now with avalanche nerves, strained 
From being kicked beneath the table, 
Now my life’s more stable 
And free of the fires we leave 
Others to burn in.

(short domestic break-in):

  1. Milk
  2. Beer (Birra Moretti, bottles)
  3. Kleenex
  4. Remember to ask ‘Bissi’ why there are no spare bulbs 
    in the house stronger than 40 watts. 40 watts is depressing. 
    Is Global warming now the master of my house? GET SOME 
    STRONGER LIGHTBULBS! (what am I now, a mole?)
  5. order PES 2009 for Xbox, pick up copy of ‘New Yorker’

Continue: (voice of the soul) 
This I give you, (from one angry motherfucker)
To govern a lethal aftershock takes the full ‘Armstrong’ of will 
To further future shapes I take requires a little de-stressing 
Distressed distaff wandering finger nose pickers, in need of a good bath 
But using for a plant box some mother’s stolen cradle, and I (through either chuckles or laughs) were never
Able, to flip the math, and devolve into a morning spill that aroused new fire from the ashes of fables.


Seeing as that is what that is, 
Particularly when is, is what, 
These become these as those 
Become flat 
And how is why until when 
Arrives and concludes the 
Matter of what. Thought bubbles 
Circulate secure that circling darts 
Speculate that mind in motion 
Is worthy of its sharper parts 
And pierce conversations with 
Stuttered punctuation. HOW IS NO 
One can forget to guess, otherwise 
Shiver in the timbre while time 
Brings it’s axe down on the 

A face compiled upon the banks of such stubborn lips 
May never be subject to the sudden tricks, that like a 
Lighthouse flickering in a foggy wind, of your shores 
Being landed and your heaving cleavage winded. 
(I don’t ‘come’ quick, I come quixotic, and highly recommended) 
At some rough hour must come your mammon, 
Aroused like Samson drawn to the musk, of his
Fair lady’s under-dress , to be stroked as a flaxen coat of sweat 
To be dressed a whore, undressed as a queen, (a lesser threat) 
To be summoned to my lake as I baptise your breath with stillness, 
To be fingered like caramel and pressed into the folds of pleated fields 
To be ‘manhandled’ and rode in a wheelhouse, sloughed off, ‘shrugged’, 
To be ventilated, strung out on a clothesline and beaten like a rug 
To be wrung out like ragweed tossed as confetti by the late breeze 
To be moistened and devoured, deflowered, shaken like a bed bug, sucked
Like a lemon sour.



If the canary ain’t singing, then there are trouble in these lands.

There are no perfect fathers, and the sooner a man comes to accept this, the sooner he can get on with his life. Life knows that in any case, a perfect father spoils a winner.

When your ‘career’ competes with your life, drop the career and resume the life. Letting my career go has restored my quality of life and my appetite for work. Black men do not trust ‘careers’, we trust WORK.

Musicians remember that TONE dictates SOUND, not the other way around.

THIS WEEKS VIRTUAL UNIVERSITY OF Rock and Roll STUDY PROGRAM nominates RICHIE BLACKMORE, DAVE GILMOUR, AND SMOKEY ROBINSON. Your quiz will be given the next upcoming Friday the 13th.

Self inflicted wounds are the most endearing.


Alas, (as portended), the price of fuel will now control governments, ergo policy. We are owned, hook, line and bait by the same people who precipitated this ‘crisis’ in the first place. And slowly yet surely, our culture fell into the hands of those (Saudi Arabia, China) who used our flag to wipe their hands with after washing the oil and blood off of their hands in the bathroom. This will naturally challenge our infrastructure and we will be deliberately held back while those countries spend our money modernizing and upgrading their own affairs. Yet, the good news is this, should we but remember ourselves and our true values as a Christian nation, we will come out of this catastrophe smelling like Jesus. In only 46 years so far, I have come to conclude that putting ‘Bush’ in the same sentence as ‘Bank’, causes one to cancel the other out.

EXTRA CREDIT FOR Virtual University studies. 

Musicians are always busy even when we are not working. Once a mind is given over to the music, it begins to know a new grade of worry.

Listen to the songs you like, ignore the rest. Likewise with wisdom.

There are but 2 poles to our solar/lunar meditation, WAITING or CREATING. And while we wait, we still create.

….and while we wait, we pass the time and ‘re-create’. Recreations are our maintenance program, our birthright.



WE ARE NOT OBLIGED TO LOVE EVIL. WE ARE OBLIGED TO AVOID IT. Evil does not deserve love, it deserves a smack in the mouth. Do not waste your pearls on what drools….

EXTRA, EXTRA CREDIT: In a thousand words or less, describe how important to the development of R&B after them were southern soul pioneers FRANKIE BEVERLY and MAZE.

Develop a thesis on their uniqueness. For additional credit, posit a theorem explaining the importance of BOBBY WOMACK to post 60’s R&B songwriting and guitar playing and his vital cross link to Sam Cooke and Curtis Mayfield and them Rolling Stones. The more obtuse may entertain the faculty with a reference report on the relative musical merits of the eras of Paul McCartney and Jess McCartney.


(and while he lay for all that time in his ‘coma’, he were in spirit helping to prepare a way for the next generation to come, and his meditations secured a lot of new ground for those the such as me).

Another word to explain ‘Coma’, is ‘Cocoon’. While in a coma, we rest within ‘spiritual cocoons’ provided for just that purpose. Some ‘sensitives’ can even see them. The type of spirit that master Wilson was could slip out of his physical body while in coma or just sleeping and assist what works there are still waiting to be done. In the fields of evil, there is always work to do.

When the Canary returns to God, hardly does it occur that the once yellow bird would be told off for returning to him black. Hardly does God say, “ Be gone from me bird, for thou art blackened with dirt!” God loves dirt, for eons and eons he had to sit and watch the waters of the earth roll over the top of everything, so by the time ‘dirt’ arrived, God was most pleased. He would simply understand that a yellow canary which comes back blackened with soot is only providing God with what levels of soot have blackened our world. That is why the canary is sent, to gauge where the levels are. When the bird returns, he is honoured for having served his purpose, not admonished for having gotten his hands dirty. The victory for God, is that the bird returned at all, whatever colours his feathers had turned. Whatever shades of black he wore, he found his way back home.


Wealth cannot always be exchanged for money, nor money always turned into wealth. They can coexist but can also do quite well without the other. True wealth can never be spent but can always be invested. Money does not always attract wealth but wealth is always what attracts the finer experiences of our lives. Wealth begins in the ego, in the heart and manifests outwards from there. To be ‘poor’, is to be poor in spirit and in need of a new ego, a new faith.

We promise to SCALE back our fish stories in future editions……

Dreamers must always be on the lookout for Schemers. Schemers are by nature lazy, though the dreamer who works, wins.

We suffer not having more, yet we suffer when we do.

There is really no new template, just a new trap.

Your brother is so slow, it took him a week to fall off of his bicycle.


Edwin, after resettling didn’t often leave Wales. He was invited once by some Welsh friends to go Whale watching off the coast of Wales but that felt a little too alliterative and confusing for him at that particular time. It even felt intrusive in some ‘this may be a joke later’ kind of way. Having succumbed to entreaties by a new love, a chance acquaintance, he accepted a trip to Switzerland to try his hand at this skiing phenomenon that was going on. His first day on the slopes however were an unmitigated disaster, a portrait of a man more attuned to Welsh dales than Swiss mountain ranges, but to Edwin, though puzzled, he knew it weren’t that. It were only upon returning to his little cosy rented chalet that he discovered the cause of his disorientation. IT WERE THOSE DAMN SOCKS! Those damn Swiss ‘Directional Socks’! He then recalled the previous day, how proud his new girlfriend was of him to see the frugal, modest oft-grumpy, Edwin plumping out on himself buying ‘Ski Clothes and whatnot’ as he would’ve himself put it. Among those purchases were 4 new pairs of ‘new fangled’ space age material ski socks, and marked (helpfully), on each sock with either the L or R, and bold and bright so as not to be missed. Sure enough, without thinking, Edwin, while watching in the rising curving light, the silhouette of his lover’s excited ski boots being snapped on, absentmindedly confused his subconscious by labelling his feet wrong and thereby for the rest of the day dealing with the subtle mind scrambling persuasion of mismanaged support hose. Being quite a frugal man, Edwin hardly like to purchase things on the cheap, he simply didn’t like paying more than he needed, nor for more than he needed to be provided for and well considered within his own esteem. This only made him realize all the more that he had bought 4 pairs of socks that until he wore them out, would be like living with little dictators, ‘mein fuhrers’, demanding attention and constantly positioning themselves for proper placement. EDWIN WOULD NOW BE UNDER THE TYRANNY OF SWISS MOUNTAIN SOCKS! He had walked around in ‘Bolshevik’ feet. (‘Cossocks’, anyone?) He only hoped that once they were with him back in Wales, they would calm down a little and enjoy , like he, the pace of their blessedly less eventful life there, away from very cold mountain ranges and their ghosts.

I don’t like to approach my life too straight or it may come back at me too straight.

All that CRISIS means is that we can finally crawl out of the last box which suffocated and restricted us, and start all over again. Do we really need ALL of it anyway?

…yes, it’s tough letting go. Was it any easier accumulating all of it?

AND FOR THE WICKED AMONG YOU- Was it really worth all those people you screwed over to be in the same boat they are now in? You feel silly now don’t you, AND, you still have the karma to pay back as well!

Your mother head is so big, they took her driver’s licence picture with an overhead camera…





PS- Your brother is so out of it, he thought ‘Jocks Cousteau’ was a fungus swimmers got for staying in their wet trunks for too long!