The greater Courage is NOT to Flee Hell, But To STAND in its Circles and Dance, while the FIRES Last. And you KNOW THE DRILL. Once you finally get used to hell, is of course when those bitches ask you to leave.

If we are honest, the most alluring thing about our attraction to CLOWNS, is not so much that they make us laugh, as much as they make us want to punch and beat them. I have heard hardened men say that there is a certain therapeutic satisfaction in pummeling a Clown, whom many inexplicably fear.*

* Please note that this website does not actively promote physical violence against or the emotional assault of Clowns and the various members of their brotherhoods and unions. This website aims to be a place where clowns of all denominations may safely intercourse socially with one another without fear of intellectual retribution from others intimidated by them due to the prejudicial belief that they are different from the rest of us.

Realizing that you are not getting any younger usually provides a firm enough deadline to get on with what you must do. If you can remember what your dream is, it is never too late to have it. And barriers exist not to stop us but to stretch us and keep us from getting bored.

The problem with ‘Intelligence’ is that it bores easily and given nothing Substantial to Create, it will look for Something to Spoil. The ‘Smarter’ a Man, the Greater the Danger to his own Lethargy.

A COW may safely verify that it is better to be seen as a BEAST than as a COMMODITY. Beasts are safe and have an even chance. Commodities Never Rest, and are Always Watched.

And a Chicken will tell you that the opposition is not so much to the eggs, as to the presumption.

Things I learned from my babysitter, Mrs. McIntyre:

An entire Land of Truth lies between Ignorance & Knowledge. And its grass is always high and full of wanderers, most in the stocking feet of those who slumber. Some even stumble into College!

FAITH is a Fuel for the Spirit and Always Upholds its Portion of the Law. And What We Give to it Always Yields.

Asking Too Much of Too Little Cheats Us More than asking Too Little of Too Much.

LIFE is what we find between the Time on the Clock, and the Time on our Hands.

The more we can Reserve, the more we can Command.

The closer you move towards it, the farther back it stands from you, but stand aside from it and IT IS THERE all over you!

ANXIETY is the state between HERE & THERE, NOW AND THEN.

Who WINS gets to define what winning is. Victory rewrites the rules of the game. Excellence determines policy. This was meant to sound butch or Zen, though either might be fallacy.

What BRINGS men together are their IDEALS, what BINDS them together are their VICES.

Every COIN has 2 sides. Its VALUE on the one side, its TAXES on the other.

And haggle they must in order to surmise which appeals to sacrifice in control of prices,

When structure demands they bother, to take the tree to where the ax is.

Tenderloin the beefcake kept dancing in fires of crisis, some men pray to their iron lords,

While some men pray to Isis. Meals are never more than meals than when the mouth is wet

Before it dines, and whatever the cost the meal affords, it cannot unfold before the wine.

Men cut ribbons but never cords and leave just enough rope for future license.

In my time, fools played footsie while flopping flowed, and seeds were stripped of sapling

Sermons written in the soil they sowed, as would a Queen clutching her last ermine.

And ample the samples the shape of which the future in its rhymes determine what shimmers

Cannot be seen, but as nuggets in the river glows as gold as well as green.

Fires contain their embers, or turn to ash before their sluggish shoulders shrug and close out vespers as smoldering steam before the fog has passed.

Consciousness defines a tribe more than the complexion of its members.

Discipline Authors Refinement wrote the battered scribe;

Adhere to your assignment, cater to my whims and I shall release you

From confinement, and amp the volume on the ladies that you dine with,

And with whom you may imbibe, among those I recommend.

The full wood shall be restored to your timbers, and suitable bribes

Extrapolated if matters become too complicated and you find your posture

Less than limber, and circumcised beyond the moment’s comfort

To remember as the neurons dim. Just in case you forgot, I am King and you are not!

Let not your brain cramps cost you! You would be more deep than 6

If my guards had ever lost you! Now settle yourself upon my fields

Where feasts restore pastures bursting with nymphs.

There is no further use of concern

For laws you kicked against the pricks and crevices of certain aftershocks.

There were many blocks you never saw for seeing locks instead of Bagels,

The zeros offered to your account in whatever amount you might finagle,

Whatever gratis you earned to hide in your socks, and

Never mind the bridges that you burned.

Though some never learn until they leave their school,

This being largely the rough cut between a dumb ass

And a fool. One tempts knowledge the other spurns.

Attraction falls for nothing like it does for Contempt.

And Moths In Their Own Lamps leap, though not before

Their Souls have Leant, deference to the Atlas

Circumnavigating their Descent into what Flames of Repentance

Transaction Sends to flickering dancing feet.

The porous and the pious compete

Comparing what they practice.

Alliances formed by sentences uttered while the children look on snickering.


And we got ripped off by those Thai ladies who never really sucked us.

Stable are the horses that vent with

Hooves running behind the chorus and beyond their bias,

(In the forest their synonyms are quiet).


Toils with tools that fortify science and stifle

The mind of imbeciles, who mistake spring fever

For winter chills, whose sniffles match their trifles.


Bulbous is the rose of amenity, beneath your dripping nose.

Accept your serenity, or be a

Cactus asking a Baptist where the water went,

And looking for mermaids that have already lapped us

In the shallow seas we swim in

Until the land adapts us.


You dream when you are awake

And act when you sleep,

As if your mind and soul were severed.

There are Spots in your Mind filled with Leopards

Who, on your doubts are dining.

The eternal essence of all clouds are the smoke the rises

from the graves at dawn.

Shave your bearded shepherds; the same that sows is the same that mows the lawn.

And fertilizes hopes as his garden keeps his bricks inside the rope.

Nothing is more BLINDING than the OBVIOUS.

Not even standing on Vesuvius when her sorrows heave and her Lava is coming on,

Covetous as it leaves. DEAD ROOTS, OLD KARMA CHOKE.

We Inherit The World, When We See It As It Is, Only Vision Reaps.

Hesitance and regret sing a different song, though not for long

Before its logic meets. The rest bear it and agree to share based on merit.

The difference between A DREAM & A VISION is EFFORT;


Minus the lethargy of the boat whose storms were barely weathered and that

Still flinches when the tides come to dare it.

WHAT KINDERGARTEN TAUGHT ME (besides how to spell a German word):


Reality is what YOU insist upon.

We Don’t Deserve What We Are Not Willing To See Through.


Authority cannot be strengthened without challenges to it.

OBLIVION is a wonderful place to rest, but a terrible place to pay taxes.


What if we didn’t evolve FROM monkeys but are evolving TOWARDS them? They would tell us, right?


We can lose touch with simple truths looking for the greater ones.

Beliefs are only as strong as Convictions, which are allowed to change.

AND you can still return home since home never leaves, even if it was never there.

Especially since ‘there’ is here now, yesterday never was, while tomorrow is always subject to change and vulnerable to available content and programming.

If a kid had a hard time holding onto a fart, they usually couldn’t be trusted to hold on to a secret. They also usually ate a lot of snacks. I believe that (if not mistaken), CONFUCIUS said something loosely along the lines of (To Paraphrase I am sure since translations can be unreliable): “He that cannot keepeth his ass shut, will also find the wind escaping his mouth”.*

*This website wishes to make it clear that it does not endorse the forced holding of a fart, except in cases where decorum dictate otherwise. If you are having persistent flatulence issues (or other gas related problems), please consult with your physician. We also proudly endorse ADULT BURPING.

Usually, the main difference between a ‘Drunk’ & a ‘Connoisseur’ is the Vintage.

Eventually every man finds himself in his own mystery (if not in his own shorts). While Only the Fool truly lives! All the rest of us are analyzing and taking notes, looking for permission to join the parade.

There is no commodity greater than human consciousness, the soul of a man, which is why maintaining control of it is everything and then some to our system. Remember that the value of all other things is at any given moment merely relative to where human consciousness is. Without the scale of our soul as a measure, then the value of gold is zero, as is everything else we are conditioned to accept, real or imagined. Without the attention of the human spirit, all things but waver and oscillate and recede back into non-existence. What’s More Valuable than Diamonds? OUR ATTENTION SPAN.

One does not have to control the 7 billion, only the 1% who control the 7 billion. And the control of the 1% is the price of the rent and the reason behind most production.

Warriors will always find a portion of their lives living parallel to an appetite for destruction. Without a fight to contest, they keep their swords sharp by fighting themselves. And once this appetite is purged, fields of harvest emerge.

Bands often look back and lament that they allowed personal traits of conflict to derail them. Especially when it is considered that this same energy, in the form of CREATIVE TENSION was most likely the ingredient that made the band what they were, and gave them what sound they had. We are responsible for the fires we create. And we have grown soft, looking for the easiest way through, and not the most rewarding. That Which Makes Us What We Are Must Be Tended. Once the spark is gone, then so are we.

The greater peril to a relationship is not fighting, but the absence of anything worth fighting for. It Requires Just Enough Tension to keep it Together. Tension is Attraction.

A QUEEN’S MISFORTUNE, is that she Eventually Awakens at some point to Discover the Horror that she is mainly Surrounded by Fools, and that the awareness of it only magnifies it. And that no amount of Gilded Fortune can summon Forth Fewer Fools than there are to be Found & Surrounded by at Any Given Time. And all truth becomes relative to convenience and self-preservation.

With a language designed to circumvent the responsibility to perpetuity and perpetrate denial lest her will penetrate beyond the wall of politics, thieves and clowns* surrounding her. While dangerously pretending to be more stupid than they are, a favorite profile for those who destroy.

* Once again, this was not meant to denigrate clowns, for whom we retain a great deal of professional respect, being entertainers ourselves. Neither do we wish to disparage thieves, with whom we have done much business in the past.

WE NEED A LITTLE AGITATION. Too much satisfaction kills the creative spirit and makes us lazy and dull minded, an impediment to evolution.

So here’s a solution. Make an allocation to stop the pollution and find your own Venusian.

One only need pay attention, to garner the cap and gown and gather regard beyond mere

Honorable mention.

Sometimes I go with the flow

Unless it upsets me and I tell it where to go.

It Stands To Reason, our fascination with ALIENS.

We have become alien to ourselves. Foreign born

As children of the corn to one another. And it is never

Good karma to lie to your mother. Despite what oaths are sworn.


In fact, most OSTRICHES keep their heads in the sand while their PERMS are drying. Which makes sense if you think about it.

BE HERE NOW makes a lot of sense. Except when it doesn’t. Sometimes being in the moment is the remedy, but sometimes, the problem. Slogans are useful except when they limit where the mind can go. With IMAGINATION one can be in the moment and elsewhere at the same time. The Trip is Yours, YOU are paying for it, and YOU are held accountable.

These things the 3rd grade taught a fool:

The problem with telling the TRUTH is that it draws too many thieves, while LYING draws mainly the naïve.

One man’s MISTAKE is another man’s LEAP OF FAITH (Waiting for the Right Moon to Break).

More Important Than SIZE IS PRESENCE.

Always reserve an Ace for your sleeves (if not your sleeves some other place).

When Presence meets Preparation, Victory leans towards it.

Defeat lingers when it grieves.

If not for prizes than for its own sake, Focus soon affords it.

So let me get this straight. WE ARE TO BLAME for Global Warming (Inc.). WE The People. The Poor Schleps who buy the cars and use them. NOT THE CAR MANUFACTURERS, the FUEL Providers, or the governments who subsidize situations as such, often at the expense of ‘Infrastructure’. Why bother the tire makers and call them to account? None of the major corporate participants and suppliers are whistled at, JUST US. IT IS OUR ENTIRE FAULT. And all because we were susceptible enough to have paid attention to the millions spent on advertising to get and keep our attention and persuade us to purchase their automotive products and brands. So that at the end of the day, when accusations fly, the asshole holding the keys to the car and making the payments is the one blamed for the air getting all gritty and filled with pity, while all the other players in the game in the City slink away back into their guilty but air conditioned caves where they pet the kitty, laying low, but sitting high and pretty. Waiting for the next group of innocents to pin the donkey’s tail on and the tale that goes with it, WHILE WE PAY THE TAXES.

Moral? Apparently, we are ALL responsible for the fluorocarbons that other companies create, though few knew what they were until they told us we were responsible for it.

This is akin to ZUGEBRIAN TIME LORD Philosophy; Namely to AFFLICT THE PEOPLE and then BLAME THE PEOPLE FOR THE AFFLICTION. While Using the Affliction as the Cause of their Oppression. It greatly helps if people can be manipulated into believing that being themselves is a handicap and that their native instincts are dangerous. LONG LIVE CIRCULAR LOGIC!

My wife’s father figures that one of the reasons WORLD HUNGER is never sorted out is that the CONFERENCES all take place attended by 7 Course Meals. The solution is to lock all of those bitches in a room and make it clear that they don’t get to eat, until they can figure out how to feed others with the copious amounts of food we have.

Life’s TOUGHNESS is relative. Try being the old SNAIL who takes ALL DAY to cross the sidewalk, only to have completely forgotten by the time he got there, why he had crossed in the first place.

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then surrealistically, the bar transforms into an IRON BAR and lands on top of the man’s foot, nearly breaking it. When he complains, he is told by the bar that he still has to pay for the drink. When he asks why, he is given a fortune cookie which he cracks open. Inside is a bill for the drink, damages to the bar, and an infraction ticket for the Unauthorized Opening and Abuse of a Fortune Cookie.

A GIANT BUNNY walks into a bar, wearing A GIANT BUNNY COSTUME! So that he could have a drink without people disturbing him. The bar was in New York, so no one would have bothered him anyway. Though he was in the bar the day a Pink Elephant walked in and ordered drinks for everyone in the house, who swore upon their hangovers later that they’d partied with a pink elephant and a giant rabbit. Apparently the police arrested two thieves who robbed drunks in their home wearing a pink elephant costume, though so far the coincidence has not been corroborated.

A HEN adopted 3 Bright Colorfully Decorated EASTER EGGS confident that she will lay hatch to very vibrant, gay, creative children!

A man walks in to a bar and waits for a joke that never comes. Until he gets drunk enough and passes out, and THEN the punch line arrives! But he won’t remember or understand it, so he will repeat this process over and over again, until he does. The Man Who Walks into the Bar, Waiting For the Joke that Never Comes until he falls asleep. And then one day it dawns on him this: ‘I don’t have to wait for the joke, the JOKE IS ALWAYS THERE’!

Moral ? Getting Caught Up Looking For The Joke, Means the Joke’s on You.

An ABSTRACT TIGER walks up to an Existential Bear and bites it hard on the butt and says: ‘‘And Now That Makes Two Of Us.’’ To which existential bear sighed forth, “Yes, but when you bit me that made us one.” Retorted the Tiger, “ So then it is settled, we shall let the philosophers decide.” And then the Tiger bit him again since most laws favor being abstract. In any event, The Bear Is Only Existential for Tax Purposes.

A man walks into a bar looking for his wife.

Relieved that she is not there, he relaxes and starts drinking.

She wouldn’t know what his life was thinking, or the tenor of its strife.

How his time was always shrinking, and how when he lies, he confuses his ties

And his eyes are always blinking. Clutching the glass that holds the lemons inner demons slice.

A Farmer’s Daughter walks into a bar where the owner immediately turns her away for fear that the convergence of Farmer’s Daughter and Bar Jokes would prove Far Too Intoxicating for the Crowds and Patrons to Restrain themselves, thereby tempting the possible Rate increase of his Insurance coverage and incurring the Wrath of the Fire Marshal. She left, though not without wryly noticing the occurrence outside the bar of what looked like a man in a giant bunny costume addressing a nun while standing next to a priest, a rabbi and a minister.

A man begins climbing a ladder only to discover midway up, that the ladder is climbing him. Perplexed initially, the man continues until he regains perceptual analysis of the scope of the situation, extracting what visceral density might be deduced from the process of the apparatus itself, in meditation on what it is. And whether it bore repeating.

He Was Shot At The Edge Of His Dawn, with Murky Figures looking on,

By one whose pain was out of their reach, and whose lessons to teach

Stepped beyond their braces when he broke the staff he was leaning upon,

And put them in their places.

And who’s shoulders shrug at the tug of war on which the game’s framework depends.

It recommends the same work as before, that I shelter beneath the harbor of my backpack,

As I ordain the seeds where the grains are at, who’s swaying Golden Means

That I Can Aim at Breaking Bread before the Stench of Hunger swallows all last Hiccups,

And final Screams.

PICK UP! My misery beseeches what Anger’s Mother Sends! That rips apart the
Alphabet for the letters that spell BREACH, its consonants Defend, swollen by its silhouette

And ampersands affiliate consent.

I once laid down with a woman and woke up with the government pulling at my strands.

Silent Celestial Sons, whose visions made them back track, traded in their

Solar Summers for Silver Sermons in the Outback,

Splitting at the seams, the Canyons Through with Echoes Cradle, the spit on the Saddle of a Rider’s

Dreams, whose Horses each ride through stables of smoke, broken by the bit that feeds

From the hand of Saint Peter’s Ghost. His measures fit his needs.

His Diameters find their Ends in the Fractals where the Rainbow Bends.

Burning through amber timbers while the Fields are crumbling toast,

where now a Crane is searching in his chamber for a landing

At some future Beach, to empty out his satchel.

The layout which appears to his sight lines as supernatural.

One Day Time Will Not Be So Demanding,

Someday Most Men will Consent to eating Quiche

As well as those Blessed by God to be Buried

In their Niche. Many laid to rest, a few still



THEY Unionized their magic horns when Genghis Khan

Put his high heels on, and bowled his bitches on the lawn.

What parallel of thorns impress upon the brows of beaten

Men, of wheat and barley, hawthorn, and lavender for scent

Meant for those whose executions were man made but heaven

Sent, rescuing from the sands that swirl the rough stir that

Shapes the elements, and steals their whispers before they are gone.

Some seeds spiral, some seeds spawn, some shiver beneath the sediment.

And of obsequious pathogens that occur in the frosted dwellings of the brain,

That accuse the sensitive for noticing that the world has gone insane,

And refuse the common sense that economy reflects our recompense.

We lower our eyes beneath our pride’s horizon because our vision is immense,

Our sorrow intense. While bearing out the days that share resentment with

Short tempers, and a longer fence. Suppressed anger touches the roots of all disease

And they die young who fear no right to complain.

THE KEY TO SELLING SPRAY PAINTED GOLDFISH successfully is to Sell Them Fast, Nothing Lasts Forever!

A FISH WALKS INTO A BAR and orders a Martini. He is politely informed that that Bar Does Not Serve Fish. Walking out of the bar, the fish turns around and responds, “Yes, But You Bitches Do Serve Anchovies.”

A Magician walks into yet another bar joke and goes up to the Bartender and attempts to Pull A Rabbit Out Of A Hat. Instead his grip slips and HE IS GRABBED BY THE RABBIT and Pulled Through His OWN Hat, where he finds himself in a dark smoky bar where rabbits nervously waited to get pulled through magician’s hats. And there were many very rabbits that seemed Quite Angry and Bitter. Though The Rabbit Who Pulled Him Through Paid For All His Drinks (But not before witnessing the Magician getting Roughed Up and Beaten by a Group of Scary Easter Bunny Rejects in Stud Collars while he stood by watching)! After which they both get eagerly wasted with a few other bunnies that evening before awakening in the morning in a strange place of moody lighting peopled by various other Stereotypes and Vagabonds who would themselves be the Subject of Future Bar Jokes, Groaning out their Hangovers, Bemoaning their Bad Luck in Surreal Scenarios and Assorted Twisted Tales.

IT STANDS TO REASON THAT THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN LIFE is More Comfortable Shoes. If You are not Comfortable with your Footwear, then You are not as Comfortable with Where You Are Going. Sananda Maitreya is a proud member of the More Responsible Shoes Society, a Non Profit Organization aimed at spreading the gospel of appropriate footwear to closet pedestrians and open minded fellows who favor feet. The Right Shoes for the Right Path in life!

An ANTEATER lost completely his taste for ANTS, and went to talk to a counselor about it. “I don’t know who I am anymore, since losing my taste for ants. I cannot even LOOK at ants. My God, it was all ants all the time!” The Counselor said to him, “ Listen, this is who you are, you are an anteater that has lost his appetite for ants. It happens, get over it.” Settled somewhat, the Anteater asks his mentor if he had ever had the same problem. “Of course, I stopped eating Ants and things that crawl many years ago” replied the Counselor. “ I got hold of a bad snail once and after that, forget about it.” And asked what he replaced them with in his diet, the mentor sufficed: “Antacids”.

A Beetle was rolling a ball of his dung uphill as beetles do, when it suddenly hit him like a bolt from the clouds that he was in fact pushing his own waste up the same hill every single day, and that it really wasn’t what he wanted to being doing with his life, all things considered. His next inspiration was to remember that Beetles have wings. He then mounted courage and flew away, though not before letting his ball of dung roll back down the hill like a bowling ball and flatten a few of the other beetles in line, which he got a real kick out of seeing. “LATER BITCHES”, was his rather inelegant and testy farewell to his now former dung rolling colleagues, some with college degrees. He didn’t know yet what he wanted to do with his life, but was savvy enough to know that since he is already the subject of THIS story, it would be a good idea to get an agent, and start from there.


Two fish who charm yet circle one another, since neither fish wants to belong to the other’s school. One thinks that school is for idiots, while the other cannot afford to think that having spent so many years in different schools. And is still paying off his student loans……


And trying to fit WHAT YOU ARE into WHAT YOU WERE is always a difficult proposition…

A large group of Clowns went missing. Just disappeared. They were later found hiding in the Government. Problem was, few noticed and no one could tell the difference…….

MILANO 28th May 2014